i spoke up today. to two people, actually. and it wasn't terrible. it wasn't my favorite part of the day, it was slightly unpleasant, it did make me uncomfortable, i felt bad about saying what i had to say, it went against my very nature and all that i wanted to do.....but it wasn't terrible.
my feelings about speaking up were confirmed in sunday school, when we watched rob bell's nooma video entitled "store." it was about how people deal with anger. afterwards we discussed it, and this girl who i never would have guessed would be anything like me said, "you know, i always let people do stuff that bothers me over and over and over and finally i can't take it anymore and i just blow up at them. but that's unfair, because i never tell them that it upsets me." wow. that's me right there. i've decided i for sure want to attempt to avoid that from here on out. certainly it will still happen, cause it's just my tendency to try to let things that aren't a big deal slide. but if it's something that truly bothers me, there's nothing wrong with calmly telling the other person that it does. especially if that will prevent future frustration and potential blow-ups. speaking up is the way to go for us mount vesuvius types.
this is a small personal victory for me. i'm still uncertain about how the other person felt about what i said, yet i feel like i accomplished something regardless. so....
hooray! :)
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