it's time

for me to stop being such a clam and SPEAK UP. to a lot of people. i don't think they're ready. i've said nothing about so many things for so long that no one is going to expect this. i have no idea what the response will be. and i don't know that i care anymore. 

i want to be done with being so afraid. God, i'm sorry, i feel like we've talked about this so much. we've beat it into the ground. fear, fear, fear. why so much fear? i don't know either, Daddy. i just know that it takes over so many times. maybe that's one of those things that i have to keep surrendering again and again. i'm weary of this, though. 

can't i just be done with this?!?