that last one was so dark...

...and i wasn't even feeling that way. i need to write something new, it's time. it's time for many new things, and there's really no need to be scared. i trust you, God.


heart healer
i place all of mine
in the only hands
that can hold it how it needs.
don't let go.
and i promise
i won't take it back this time.
amen.

a poem.

nighttime is your best escape.

darkness masks dark circles 

from too many hours awake. 

close your eyes tight and pray that you don't dream.

no need for reminders

of unattainable things. 

maybe tonight your heart will slow and cease.

a heart can't ache if it can't even beat.

fell in love in mexico

what an amazing trip. i never imagined that it would be so beautiful. i'm counting the days until i can return (hopefully only 49!) and working on my spanish....i think maybe this is it. this is the place God wants me to be?! it's hard to say but it's certainly a very real possibility.

i miss it...everything about it. especially the people. there's something very special and dear to my heart there. i want to call it my home.

big enough

i question are you big enough, and i wonder are you strong enough
to help me even stand
and i wish i had more faith in you
even though i know what you've brought me through
i want to understand
where we're going with this plan.....

(thank you casey combest)

disappointing people

is something i've always been overly concerned about. just when i think i have it conquered, i realize how much i'm still doing for the approval of others, and how hard it is for me to let things go sometimes, not because i love doing them but because i don't want to feel like i've let anyone down.

it's time to let go. again.

no worries

because God always works out all the details. you'd think i'd have this completely figured out by now.

my name was one of 40, out of 120 girls, chosen yesterday to live off campus next year. this is confirmation that the Lord really does want me to continue making steps towards moving into the Faith House downtown and interning with the Lancasters. i am excited, but now as it's becoming definite i've realized what kind of changes this may mean for my life. some i am really happy with, others are going to be a little harder to swallow....such as changes in relationships. a lot of uncertainty has been in my mind lately. but God holds all the answers so i need to be leaning on Him. as i've said before, i need to pray more - especially cause i sure could use some guidance right now.

i feel like the world is completely open to me as i serve the Lord. i can go anywhere He calls me, and He could call me ANYWHERE. what incredible freedom and potential adventure when i walk with Him....

i'm considering lots of options for my several weeks off work this summer. the ukraine, africa, mexico, california - all are appealing to me. maybe i'll even be doing something i haven't thought of yet. we will see.

only time will tell....with all of it.

dear so and so....

I wanted to write and share with you all the things God has been doing in my life since I last wrote. First I want to thank you for your incredible love and support, and especially your prayers. Because you prayed earnestly, our trip to Greece was a success. Our group of about thirty from First Baptist Clinton joined thirty other college students from across the United States in Athens for a weeklong World Changers project. I was assigned to the team doing ministry in the gypsy camp, and what a blessing that was! The children were absolutely gorgeous and we had the opportunity to share with them all week the beautiful message of God’s love for them. Although I went give to these kids, I received so much from them, as they lavished us with hugs and kisses every single day. The missionaries shared with us the change that had gradually been taking place in the gypsies as the missionaries continued to show love to them, day after day. These people who were once only greedy, suspicious, and hard-hearted towards the gospel were beginning to soften. God’s love changes hearts, and I got to see this firsthand in Greece.

At the beginning of this summer I began to pray about how the Lord wanted me to spend the rest of my time at Mississippi College. I had reached a point where I knew God wanted more from me, and I wanted to be used by Him. As I prayed, I clearly heard the Lord say He wanted me to live and serve in downtown Jackson. This was a huge revelation! I continued to pray and the Lord led me to Amy and David Lancaster. The Lancasters felt God’s call to Jackson four years ago, moved, and began loving their neighbors and preaching the word downtown. I became involved with this ministry, We Will Go, and the Lord absolutely broke my heart for the people of Jackson. There is so much hurt, so much need, and only Jesus can heal! The Lord began to show me what He can do when we are truly willing to give Him everything.

This November, I went with We Will Go to Mozambique, Africa. The Lord never ceases to amaze me! He grew my faith as He miraculously provided everything we needed for the trip. We worked alongside Iris Ministries in Pemba, Mozambique, loving the orphan children and worshipping the Lord in spirit and in truth with the believers there. I saw a bigger picture of what God’s kingdom really looks like – people from every tribe and tongue will one day stand before the throne to praise Him! How beautiful! Seeing the true faith and passion of Christians in Mozambique truly challenged me. These people have nothing, they depend entirely on the Lord to meet every need. So many times I try to do things myself, and I always fail. But nothing is impossible with God - in Him we have all we need for life and godliness!
We Will Go recently purchased two buildings on their street that the Lord promised them years ago. These buildings will house interns whom the Lord is calling to serve alongside the Lancasters in Jackson. I knew when I first heard them speak about these buildings over the summer that this was where the Lord would have me live, and now I am preparing to move there this summer and live there during my last year at MC. Looking back over 2008, it is easy to see all the ways that the Lord has moved and all the things He has been teaching me. Looking forward into 2009, I am so excited to think about all He will continue to do. In March, I am headed to Mexico with First Baptist Clinton’s college ministry to share Jesus Christ there! I am excited to have an opportunity to use the two years of Spanish I’ve had at Mississippi College to speak His name and tell about His amazing love.

School is going well, and I plan to graduate next May with a degree in Christian Studies and a minor in Spanish (after many changes of major! J). I am praying about what God wants me to do after graduation, and really, I have no idea what that could be. I know that He is calling me to serve Him full-time, but where and when and how I don’t know. I trust that He will continue to faithfully guide me as He has thus far. I am excited to see what new adventures God has for the future – there’s never a dull moment in serving Him!

I am so blessed to have you in my life. Please know that as you have been praying for me, I have been praying for you also. If there’s anything specific I can pray about for you, please let me know – I would love to lift you up in this way! Thank you for allowing me to share with you about what God is doing. Even sitting here writing this is an encouragement and a reminder to me of who God is and what He has done, and I hope it encourages you also. I love you and I hope to write again soon.